10 Things You Should Never Do At A Wedding

Weddings are a delicate blend of emotion, tradition, and once-in-a-lifetime moments. As a Maine wedding photographer, I’ve seen it all—the breathtaking, the hilarious, and the downright cringe-worthy. While every wedding is unique, there are certain universal etiquette rules that guests (and even vendors) should follow to ensure the day runs smoothly.

From well-intentioned but disruptive behavior to outright wedding faux pas, here are 10 things you should NEVER do at a wedding—straight from someone who’s behind the lens capturing the magic.

1. Don’t Jump in Front of the Photographer for "Your Shot"

This is a big one. Uncle Bob with the new iPhone or Aunt Susan with her iPad—I see you. While it’s understandable that guests want to snap their own pictures, the couple has invested thousands in a professional photographer to document their wedding day with care and expertise.

📌 Why it’s a problem:

• You can block critical moments (first kiss, first dance, cake cutting)

• Your flash can interfere with the photographer’s professional settings

• You may end up in the background of key shots, holding up a phone

📷 What to do instead:

• Respect the "unplugged ceremony" rule if the couple has one

• Enjoy the moment with your eyes, not your screen

• Trust the pros—the couple will share the photos!

2. Don’t Wear White (or Anything That Could Upstage the Couple)

This one should be obvious, yet every year, someone makes this mistake. Unless explicitly stated by the couple (like an all-white dress code), wearing white, ivory, or champagne is off-limits—that color palette belongs to the bride.

👗 Other things to avoid:

• Anything super flashy, glittery, or "bridal-esque"

• Wearing black to a daytime wedding unless it's formal

• Outfits that scream "Look at me!" rather than celebrating the couple

💡 Pro Tip: When in doubt, go for muted or jewel tones, and always check the dress code.

3. Don’t Get in the Way of the First Dance (or Any Big Moment)

The first dance, cake cutting, parent dances, and send-off are among the most emotionally charged moments of the wedding day.

📌 What not to do:

• Crowd the dance floor before the couple has had their moment

• Step in too early during a father-daughter or mother-son dance

• Try to “fix” the couple’s moment by adjusting their pose or dress

🎥 Why it matters:

• Photographers and videographers need space to capture these moments

• The couple deserves their time in the spotlight

• Too many people = cluttered photos

📷 What to do instead:

• Wait for an announcement or cue before joining the dance floor

• Let the photographer work—they know how to capture the moment beautifully

4. Don’t Bring a Plus-One Who Wasn’t Invited

Weddings are expensive. The couple has carefully curated their guest list, and bringing an uninvited plus-one is a huge breach of etiquette.

📌 Why it’s a problem:

• Seating arrangements and meals are planned in advance

• You’re increasing the couple’s costs without their consent

• It throws off the balance of the guest list

🎟 What to do instead:

• Only RSVP for the number of people listed on your invitation

• If you really need to bring someone, ask the couple beforehand

5. Don’t Be a Ceremony Disruptor

A wedding ceremony is a sacred, emotional, and meaningful event. Yet, guests unknowingly cause distractions all the time.

📌 What NOT to do:
🚫 Arrive late and walk in after the processional
🚫 Talk loudly or whisper during the vows
🚫 Answer your phone (yes, this happens!)
🚫 Stand up to take photos when you should be seated

💡 How to be a respectful guest:
✅ Arrive at least 20 minutes early
✅ Silence your phone completely (not just vibrate)
✅ Stay seated and let the pros handle the photography

6. Don’t Get Sloppy Drunk

Yes, weddings are a celebration. Yes, there’s likely an open bar. But getting embarrassingly drunk and stealing the spotlight for the wrong reasons is never a good idea.

🍸 Wedding drinking etiquette:

• Know your limits—one too many shots leads to bad decisions

• Avoid starting drama or fights after a few drinks

• If you feel tipsy, grab some water and food before ordering another round

💡 Pro Tip: The last thing a couple wants is their wedding memorialized by a viral video of you dancing on a table or falling into the cake.

7. Don’t Monopolize the Couple’s Time

Weddings fly by in a blur for the bride and groom. While they want to connect with every guest, their time is limited.

📌 What not to do:

• Trap the couple in a long conversation while other guests wait

• Demand one-on-one time for too long

• Ask them to fix your seating, food, or other personal preferences

🎉 Better ways to interact:

• Offer a quick, heartfelt congratulations and let them mingle

• Catch up later at the after-party or post-wedding brunch

• If you have a concern, talk to the wedding planner, not the couple

8. Don’t Ignore the Seating Chart

Seating charts exist for a reason—to ensure the best guest experience possible.

📌 Why you should stick to your assigned seat:

• The couple spent time carefully placing guests together

• Vendors and caterers work off a set floor plan

• Switching seats can cause confusion and delays

💡 If you really need to move, ask the planner or venue coordinator first.

9. Don’t Assume You Can Take Home Centerpieces or Décor

Unless the couple explicitly says so, centerpieces, signage, candles, and floral arrangements are NOT giveaways. Many of these are rentals or planned for donation.

🎁 If you want a keepsake:

• Check with the couple or planner before taking anything

• If there are favors or assigned takeaways, they will let you know!

10. Don’t Post Photos Before the Couple Does

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s tempting to post wedding moments immediately. However, many couples prefer to have their own first share before everyone else does.

📌 What to do instead:

• Wait until the couple has posted first

• Respect their wishes if they have a social media policy

• If unsure, ask before tagging or posting

📷 Pro Tip: Most professional photographers provide sneak peeks within a few days—be patient and let the couple have their moment!

Final Thoughts from a Wedding Photographer

Weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime event. As a Maine wedding photographer, my goal is to capture every moment beautifully without distractions, interruptions, or guest mishaps.

If you want to ensure the couple has the best experience possible, simply respect their wishes, enjoy the celebration, and trust the professionals to do their job.

📍 For couples looking for high-end wedding photography in Maine, New England, and beyond, visitwww.beauxandarrows.com
📩 Email: info@beauxandarrows.com
📷 Instagram: @rebeccaepinkham

Let’s capture your wedding with elegance, grace, and unforgettable storytelling. ✨